Crush

[This is an update to the Troth page.]
My theory about falling in love and attraction is that it is really just a massive transference, a huge crush. We see ourselves in someone else, but think it is them. Someone said to me recently that the initial attraction phase of a relationship only lasts six months. For me: more like six hundred. I'm still absolutely wild about my wife. I still think she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. The idea of someone losing that seems very sad to me. My perspective is that people are the most important thing in life and only relationships matter. Feeling lukewarm about someone, what use is that?
But somewhere along the way, we have to realize that at least part of our love / attraction for someone is loving aspects of the self. That's fine. If you eventually see clear through this and fall completely in love with yourself, that's not narcissism, it's necessary. Because then you will realize that you are actually loving the God qualities in yourself, and you will then begin a romance with God. Not there yet. (Only half-way through the 600 months.) But that's what Zulaikha is about. Fana.