... but to apologize takes some finesse. A long time ago, my wife pointed out to me when I said, "Sorry!" that this was a statement of how I felt, and not an apology. (She doesn't recall this conversation.) So, I took it to heart: I'm sorry and I apologize are two entirely different things! Sometimes the other person doesn't really care how I feel about it, they just want me to admit responsibility and intend to do better. (There are said to be five modes of apology, as there are said to be five ways of demonstrating love. They seem like good theories.)
Another wrinkle is that people typically bristle if they have experienced a loss and someone says, "I'm so sorry". They might snap: "Why? You didn't do it!" But this is another misunderstanding. "I am sorry" literally means: I am filled with sorrow, which is perfectly appropriate. (Don't get me started on people mixing up envy and jealousy, which are as opposite as bricks and pudding.)
