Crush

[This is an update to the Troth page.]
My theory about falling in love and attraction is that it is really just a massive transference, a huge crush. We see ourselves in someone else, but think it is them. Someone said to me recently that the initial attraction phase of a relationship only lasts six months. For me: more like six hundred. I'm still absolutely wild about my wife. I still think she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. The idea of someone losing that seems very sad to me. My perspective is that people are the most important thing in life and only relationships matter. Feeling lukewarm about someone, what use is that?
But somewhere along the way, we have to realize that at least part of our love / attraction for someone is loving aspects of the self. That's fine. If you eventually see clear through this and fall completely in love with yourself, that's not narcissism, it's necessary. Because then you will realize that you are actually loving the God qualities in yourself, and you will then begin a romance with God. Not there yet. (Only half-way through the 600 months.) But that's what Zulaikha is about. Fana.

Dance Ground

This is the place where I practice Intuitive Movement and dance - a cleared spot in the woods

Dance Ground

First heavy snow of the year - needs help!

Christmas Lights

Angels Watching Over Me

I had been having trouble with my Intuitive Movement practice: I felt like a tree in a gale, with several musics playing and voices of other lifetimes that I had no awareness of, whispering about dance movements... It was pretty distracting and I didn't want it. So I asked God for help, because this practice is really important to me and I had been hindered for a while. Then I heard a quiet voice say, "I've been sent to help you with that." I thought, Oh wow, a new voice! Who are you? She didn't say anything, but I got a glimpse of a small woman with short curly hair (not her face, of course). I thought, OK this is good. The next time I practiced, it was just me, and only one music and I could focus. It wasn't like dancing across the Grand Canyon on a glass bridge anymore. Problem Solved! Don't be afraid to ask for help. (Or, to accept it.)

Unconditional Love uh, how?

While I was sitting this morning, I was thinking about Unconditional Love and how that could work. I was stuck, so the main voice that speaks with me (my Higher Self, or whatever - I have sifted out the negative voices and shut them down) said something like: "Because people have the power of choice, they can do anything, so there is no way to love them but unconditionally." In other words: conditions block the love, because the other person can do anything. I was boggling. I thought of Jesus: He chose to let people do things, even at the cost of  His life. No conditions there. But could He not? Can I not allow people to be what they are, and still Accept, Respect and Trust (e.g.: Love) them? Jeremiah 17.

God's Will done how?

Last night I was saying one of my usual prayers, "May God's Will Be Done", which I admit has never made sense to me. We have free will, so it seems that if we don't choose something, God cannot make it happen. Then I had a reversal: I saw someone else saying the prayer, and I saw myself being available, and willing to do something that God would wish for us. Ah! Now it all makes sense! "May (someone out there choose that) God's Will be done (through them)." Got it!